Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
Personal message - Food for thought:
I have come to the conclusion that this argument of:
"Woman who think all Men are the same, as in partiers, smokers, drinkers, alcoholics, immature, & etc."
Versus:
"Men who only date & are only attracted to Woman because of their outside appearance,"
Is getting very immature & out of hand. So with this being said, I will give in on my opinions on both sides, but first of all let me start with the young girls / Woman.
For all the young girls & Woman:
Let me explain something to MOST of you "girls" or "Woman" out there who have been in past relationships that think or assume that all Men are the same. Now, you come on Facebook, or any social media site, for that manner, or even in person, & complain & wine like a 2 year old, going around in public telling all your "friends" that all Men are the same, or posting your little status's on social media saying "All Men are the same?" First of all, ask yourself, "Are all Men really the same?" Or is it just because you're quick to assume so? Do you ever think to yourself, "Well, why are all guys the same?" Because if you don't think that way, then that isn't our problem, or my problem. It's YOUR problem. Okay, so there are some bad Men out there in this world who do stupid, ignorant, hateful, deluded, & disrespectful things towards other girls or Woman in general. There may be Men who lie & cheat or physical hurt you, or emotionally hurt you, which I can understand 100%. However, that should NOT be a valid reason to assume why us Men are all labeled the "same." Understand something here, just because there may be bad Men out here in this world who do Woman wrong, or treat them like crap, does NOT mean that the rest of us other Men should be labeled, stereotyped, or judged the same way as the supposed type of guys "you" don't like, or have encountered in your life. That's just how it is & I'm being up-front 100%. DON'T be quick to throw a tantrum & judge us other Men out here who actually have priority's set in our life's, has self-respect for ourselves & others, doesn't attend "parties" every single night, is a little more "mature" then most Men & also knows right from wrong in life. First of all, what most of you young girls & Woman need to do is to have your life & future priorities set for yourself first, so that you know what you want out of life, & second of all, you need to take all the time you need to focus on what you're specifically looking for in a guy, then when you get comfortable with what you want to do with your life & once you start to figure out what you're looking for in a Man, THEN is the time you should start looking for a Man, a REAL Man. No, this doesn't mean find a Man while you're out partying every night, because all your cute & hot "guy" friends who may be drinking & smoking will be there, nor does it mean that you should attend parties just to get "drunk" every night with same "guys" or "date" the same type of guys while at a party while being drunk, & then next day after the party, you throw a little hissy fit about the guy or guy(s) who you're with the day of the party because all a sudden you don't like that "something" about them, so then you take your wining & complaining out on social media or in person, only to say, "Ugh...why do all guys have to be the same?" Well here's a thought, Instead of attempting to seek the same type of "Men" at "parties" while "laying" & "dating" with the same types of Men who drink & smoke & do simple, mindless acts, men who you would find at late night "parties" who you KNOW are up to no good, maybe you should let go off the alcohol, stop being a "drunk," think to yourself, use some common sense, & really set in some time for yourself with a nice guy in a smooth, but quiet & peaceful environment, where you & him can discuss a deeply conversation, 1 on 1, over a small dinner or picnic (without doing anything stupid) to prioritize your main focus on getting to know a Man for who he is on the inside. For example, his feelings towards certain aspects of life, his personality traits, like his trust, his politeness, his kindness, his respectfulness, his responsibility, his own commitment, his own happiness, his future goals in life & etc, instead of going to some loud, obnoxious, party, with "drinks" & bottles of alcohol just to get drunk & lay up with the same type of guys who you may find attractive, just because of their appearance, only to complain about that certain "guy" or "guy(s)" the next day because you assume that ALL men are the same. I'm no expert, but from my perspective, I believe that some of you young girls & Woman are initially attracted to the "party" type of guys, but when you are at a party with tons of Men & become drunk, then you start losing track of who you are & with that being said, these Men who you seek at parties while you're drunk then become the "attractive" type of Men because you think that guys that attend parties are "hot" or a "turn on" with all these bad tattoos & lip piercings & nose piercings, with no shirt on, flexing in front of everyone while wearing baggy pants, with the hat turned sideways, with baggy pants on, with holes through them, & etc. Then what disgusts me even MORE is that the day after you're out "partying" & getting "drunk" while laying with 2 or 3 of the same types of guys, you tend to give your number out publicly on social media for the rest of us young boys & Men to see.
For example:
"All single guys text me (insert # here.)"
or
"All the cute guys, where you at? Text me", (insert # here)
What kind of childish act & behavior is that? See this is the problem, From what I know, a boyfriend is only 1 person, not "ALL single guys hit me up!" Number one, when a Woman says that, it makes them look foolish, immature, cocky, ignorant, desperate & thirsty for a quick jump in a relationship. Number two, it makes NO sense to want to attend a party, get drunk, then lay with a guy or more then one guy, just because you're attracted to his looks, then the next day complain about how "All Men are the same" but on the same day you want to give your number out through social media? Thinking that US other Men will want to "message" or "text" you? Are you kidding me?! & lastly, it makes NO sense to want to date or find a Man if the only thing you're going to look for in a guy is someone who is a "partier," someone who is loud, obnoxious, drinks, smokes, & does mindless acts, because you know what? If that's your way of attempting to find "true love" or if that's your way of meeting a REAL Man who you think is a "typical guy" just like the rest of us, then you're sadly mistaken. That's the problem most young girls & Woman have. I didn't say, "all," I said "most." I also want to mention that some of us Men might not have all the "looks" or might not be a major "party-er " or "drink" or "smoke" or do "mindless acts" as what your supposed "future" boyfriend would turn out to be like, but also, let me tell you young girls & Woman something, If you EVER happen to find the right Man in your life, you DARE not treat him any differently from the other Men just because he may be "more mature" & is not a smoker or drinker or as a "party" type person, or "energetic" or may not have the outside appearance that you hoped you wished for. A Woman should love a Man for who is he is on the INSIDE regardless of how "different" he may be from your "typical" guy.
Now, with that being said, this brings me to my older half of my opinion.
For all the young boys & Men:
Now, for all the young boys & Men out there who only talk, or want to date young girls & Woman just because their "outside" appearance may be attractive or "sexy" to you, you're a tool. Not only are you a tool, but furthermore, most young boys & Men who ONLY go for a Woman's looks, are called "players." Now, "players" have no idea what they're missing inside of a young girl / Woman. What most young boys & Men don't understand about young girls & Woman is that they have feelings like us Men do, & it's NOT the outside appearance that matters in a Woman, I'm telling you that RIGHT now, I don't care if a Woman is short, tall, skinny, big, fat, black, white, pink, blue, mixed, black hair, blonde hair, no hair, has black eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, no eyes. I don't care if they don't have lip or ear piercings, don't have tattoos, don't were certain shoes, or shirt, or pants, or don't wear the latest fashions & etc. What I'm trying to say is that it's the INSIDE of a Woman's heart that matters the most. It's ALL from the Woman's heart. From my perspective of a young girl / Woman, I would rather get to know them more as a person, from the inside, & care less about what a young girl / Woman looks like on the outside. Again, this does NOT mean you have to join "parties" just to seek other Woman, then date them on the same day of the party while you're "drunk" just so you can attempt to lay up with a Woman while in a loud & obnoxious environment, with other mindless people who are around you that are also drinking, but perhaps even smoking & getting high. Let me tell you something right now. A REAL Man would want to settle down & meet a nice young Woman in a quiet, peaceful environment over a long walk, dinner or picnic, so that they could have a deep conversation 1 on 1, rather then being in a loud, obnoxious & crowded environment with smoke, drinks & bottles of alcohol & mindless people who do stupid things. A REAL man would want to sit down 1 on 1 with their Woman & know how their Woman feels towards certain things or aspects in life. A REAL man would want to know what their Woman's "likes, & dislikes" are. A REAL Man would want to know what their Woman has in mind for their future. A REAL Man would like to know what their Woman likes to do in their spare time. A REAL Man would like to know what their Woman's interests are. A REAL Man would want to know, personally, about their Woman's past "boyfriends" or "relationships" so that the they're aware of what their Woman has been through, & how they feel. A REAL Man would like to know almost every little aspect about a young girl / Woman, because that's what makes a REAL Man, a keeper. You DON'T walk up to a girl saying "hey sexy" or "hello cutie" or "hi sugar lips" or "hey babe" & then all a sudden, your hormones decide that it's time to jump straight into a relationship because of how attractive a young girl or Woman might look like or what they might wear, or how they might talk, or how they might smell, & etc. Then to make matters worse, most of you "guys" end up falling INTO the relationship without the "true" meaning of love, but rather for A Woman's appearance, thinking that their Man loves them for who they are as a person. Sorry guys, relationships don't work that way. That does NOT make you a man when you mess with a young girl / Woman's heart like that. I can agree 100% that for most Woman, it's hard for them to find a decent young Man who has respect for other young girls & Woman. From a Woman's perspective, I understand it's hard to find a young guy or a Man who truly accepts them for who they are, & won't love them for "just" their looks. I understand that it's hard for young girls or Woman who just want a "guy" friend & nothing more. I understand that it's hard looking for young boys or Men who are in-experienced with sex. In other words, a virgin. I understand just about EVERYTHING that a Woman has to consider & look for in a guy, not because I HAVE too understand, but because I care.
Personally, I'm a 21 year old male virgin, I don't attend any parties, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I'm not an alcoholic & I'm proud of it, with no shame what so ever & you don't see me dating & ONLY talking to young girls & Woman JUST because they may seem "hot" or "sexy," while attempting to spread my number out on the internet & social media for only the "hot" & "sexy" young girls & Woman to contact me, do you? Nope. I tip my hats off for all the guys out there who have self respect for themselves & other Woman, but most importantly, I tip my hats off for the guys who are currently in the same boat as I am. In other words, understand where I'm coming from & understand that it is NOT okay to judge a young girl & Woman by their looks, but rather to LOVE them for who they are as a person inside. With that said, we can all agree that nobody is perfect, because perfect is impossible. Young boys & Men make mistakes, young girls & Woman make mistakes, we all can learn from our mistakes if we strive to educate our self's & really understand what we want in life.
P.s: As Men & Woman, we should learn how to coupe with one another even if there are disagreements or things we don't like about one another, everyone is equal, & nobody is more "beautiful" or more "uglier" looking then the next person.
So therefore,
"All Men are the same"
becomes a invalid statement
&
"Men shouldn't judge a Woman by her outside appearance"
becomes a valid statement.
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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