Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
The problem with negative peer pressure today:
First of all, before I start, I've come to the conclusion that most young teenagers, Men & Woman today want to be followers in today's world, but very few of them know exactly how to be their own leader in today's society, & then they wonder why? Well, falling into negative peer pressure by others is a big part of why most people cannot reach that goal of becoming a leader of their own. So let's talk a little bit about negative peer pressure & why most people fall into this category:
First of all, negative peer pressure is a very powerful force in today's society, & unfortunately, we cannot stop negative peer pressure that others portray to us, for we will always come encounter with peer pressure & it will always be seen anywhere we go in public, whether it's a house party, parks, stores, schools, colleges, work environments & etc. However, we can certainly avoid peer pressure, & it's important that we learn how to avoid it, but the power to avoid peer pressure lies within the power of us. Though it's not as simple as it should be, but essentially, we as humans do have the power to avoid peer pressure, but it's just a matter of how we use that power to stay true to ourselves & say "no" when we are being asked to doing something that's negative. However, I feel as though most people don't know how use their power to take control of peer pressure, but will rather give up too easily & decide to fall into peer pressure instead, which makes them an easy target for stress & other bad, but unhealthy habits that could forever lye within that person if they continue to follow down the wrong road with the wrong people, which I find is the problem with most people today who come across peer pressure. You must understand that peer pressure only works on the weak & insecure. The problem that I see in this society is that people bow to peer pressure because they don't have the guts to say no & everyone is waiting for someone else to break the ice & to say no. Some people strive in to peer pressure to be popular, to be cool, to be like the other kids or to avoid being bullied, avoid being made fun of (about being scared.) Some people even do it just to irritate their parents for the sake of it. These types of people who dive into peer pressure are those who have no meaning towards themselves. In other words, these are the kinds of people who don't have their core values in place, have little, to no morals, have low standards, & lacks self-esteem & confidence to be who they really are, but will rather give in easily to "fit in" with others to feel comfortable & feel like they're wanted, & apart of the cool group or popular group. If you really think about it, it's all about "power" that makes people do things that they may not want to in the first place, because people now a days will do anything to strive to fit in. Why? Because in the eyes of a follower, nobody wants to be the outcast, the loser, the loner, the weirdo. Nobody wants to be teased, laughed at, or called names, for not fitting in to a specific group. So what do most people who are followers do? Well, to avoid being hurt or left out, these people succumb to peer pressure, the pressure of fitting in with their friends, the pressure of doing something that could make them finally belong with their so called "friends," & in other cases, if they feel that they already belong with their friends, or at least are not being made fun of at this point, then they succumb into peer pressure because they think it will help them to live at the top, to become popular of the crowd, & ultimately, to be liked by everyone who is in the group, which is bad. What most young teenagers, Men & Woman don't understand is that If a friend of yours or a random stranger puts peer pressure on you, they're just trying to tell you that you have to be phony to get their respect, when In reality, it's when YOU insist on being a leader, that people respect & admire you for who you REALLY are.
Now, knowing that these are the reasons for peer pressure, is only half the battle & will certainly help you not to give into it at this point. Now let's talk about ways to avoid negative peer pressure:
To avoid negative peer pressure from your friends, or strangers, you must educate yourself on everything you are clearly against, & ask yourself why you are against it, whether it's smoking, drinking, partying, drugs, sex, violence, bullying, & etc. Not only should you educate yourself on what you're clearly against, but you should also come up with your own reasoning's to each action that you're clearly against, & stay true to what you believe in. Why? Because it's important that you set the standards for yourself & really understand your morals, your values, your beliefs, & what you stand for as an individual human being; what do YOU believe in, what do YOU think is right & wrong when it comes to these actions that you are clearly against? What do YOU think is negative or positive about these actions being taken? What do YOU think are the consequences of each negative or positive action being taken? How far will YOU go when it comes to certain activity's or actions being taken? These are all things that you SHOULD know about yourself in the back of your head at all times. The point is that if you set good morals & standards in your life that are high & you don't settle for anything less, then peer pressure is easy to avoid because you won't let anyone censor your thoughts & tell you that your beliefs, values, or morals are wrong, & that you HAVE to do this & that because your friends or others have said so. For instance, say you're a person that has strong morals, & very high standards, & you're someone who doesn't settle for less, & a friend or group of strangers tell you to do something, such as drinking, smoking, drugs, partying, having sex, becoming violent, bullying others, & etc, what would you do? You would talk back to them in a strong voice tone & tell them that you're against it. You would tell them your a LEADER, not a follower of the crowd, & that you don't believe in participating in certain activity's or being part of certain groups. If you don't want to do something, you would tell your friends or strangers why you don't want to do whatever it is you're being forced to do, & tell them the consequences of their negative choices that they're making by falling into peer pressure & tell them your opinions or views upon why you don't participate or do certain things, while still having that aggressive & strong voice tone within yourself. In the end, if your friends or strangers still continue to force you to do whatever it is, or they don't accept what you have to say, or disagree with your reasoning's, then you wouldn't waste any more time with them, but would rather walk away from them, knowing that they will get nowhere in life, with the lack of respect, weak morals & low standards. Always remember, when you're in situations where you're being forced to do something, It's all about presentation, & how you present yourself. For example, if somebody is forcing you to do something, & you don't want to do it, then you need to have a strong posture & say "No, I don't do that", & then try to educate them by explaining to them what damage they're doing to themselves by falling into peer pressure with others, in a strong & confident voice. By doing this, people will ultimately see your true character, & will respect you for that. Now, if someone where to ask you to do something & you weren't comfortable with it, & you were to stumble or hesitate with your response, then it opens the opportunity for that pressure to enter within, & it is only then, that your friends, or others will see that as your weakness, & will use your weakness as a advantage to them & will drag you along with them into anything that they do, so it's very important that you are who you SAY you are, & to stay true to yourself & what you believe in. Always remember that YOU are in control of yourself & your own actions; how you speak, how you think, how you act, & so fourth. These are ALL things that show your presentation of yourself towards others in public. Remember, you don't have to smoke crack, do drugs, party, drink bottles, smoke ciggs, have sex, be violent, or bully others if you truly don't want to, for it becomes a incredibly bad, but unhealthy habit for yourself anyway, but this is why it's necessary to set strong morals & standards for yourself, & stick with them, because it not only makes it easier to educate those on what they're doing wrong, but it ultimately helps yourself to become a leader & stand up tall & speak out loud about why you made the decision to pass the choice up that you don't believe in, or participate in, no matter what your friends or others may say or think about you afterwards. It should be a great feeling knowing that you have decent standards & morals, & that you will NOT settle for anything less, & that you made the right choice in being comfortable with your own choices while having a clear conscious of making the right decision.
Always remember that if your so called "friends" or "strangers" are telling you to do "this & that" with them, & they refuse to respect your beliefs, or don't respect your morals, or don't respect your standards as a person, no matter how much common sense you try to slap into these people, then realize that these people are the one's who are NOT your true friends in the first place. True friends would accept your opinions & respect your desires of not wanting to do certain things or participate with them. True friends would respect your beliefs, morals, & standards, because it's the right thing to do -- it shows respect. True friends wouldn't put any pain on you, or would want to hurt you emotionally, physically, or mentally. True friends wouldn't peer pressure you constantly, period. If you are someone who is constantly being peer pressured by your friends or strangers, then you should reconsider who you call a friend or just people who you talk to in general. My advice is to find a friend that you have a lot in common with, one that you can agree on the same things with & will help you to walk away from bad peer pressure. Just knowing you are not trying to do what’s right all alone will help you even If you get to know someone before you make them your best friend, it can save you a lot of trouble in the long run, so do choose your friends carefully.
Avoiding peer pressure is not only setting strong values, standards, & morals for yourself, but also taking care of your temple, which is your body & mind. For example, If somebody is pressuring you to do something that you do not want to do, & instead, you "cave" in, then you will feel guilty & ashamed in the long run. You won't feel good about yourself because your actions are going against what your mind is telling you to do. It may make you feel more likely to succumb to the pressure of others in the future because when you're "caving in" you are more likely to get positive feedback from your friends approval, which is more likely to brain wash you & take over your whole body & mind. The fact of the matter is, you need to think about yourself first & not what others constantly feed to you. Be strong & have confidence in yourself & I guarantee you can say no to anything you know is wrong, or is not part of your morals or standards -- things that can hurt you emotionally, physically, & even mentally. To be confident in yourself, always follow what you know is the best thing to do, & follow what is in your heart, not what your friends, or others may want you to follow, or feel inside, for they may have problems you know nothing about & could desperately want others, like yourself to join them in their pain, so that they can feel better about themselves, but in reality, these people feel no pain at all, which is like persuading yourself to join them because deep down inside you feel bad for them, but really, by doing this, you will only lose track of who you are, & will start to fall short of your standards, morals, values, & ultimately, you will fall into a deep hole of pain along with your friends or strangers who are doing bad things & you don't want that. That's something you should think about. Anyhow, the goal is to be STRONG about yourself & stick to who you are, no matter how guilty you may feel for somebody or no matter how "fun" or "social the activity is that you aren't apart of. It should ALWAYS be a TOP priority to have self esteem & have confidence in yourself first to know that you're better than what everyone else does, & that you don't need to "join in" the activity's to have fun. I know it's easier said then done, but if you become more confident, & keep a decent mind set & follow yourself, you'll feel good that you can say no to smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, partying, violence, bullying, & whatever else you refuse to do, without worrying what everyone else will think of you afterwards, even if that means you have to lose a few friends, or all your friends over this, because those who will notice your true strengths are people who will respect you for being bold & confident & you'll be better admired for staying true to your standards, morals, values, what you believe in, & who you are as a person, rather then just falling into the pressure. If you stay strong to your opinions & what you believe in, & do not participate with the crowd, then you will feel a sense of self-competence in yourself that you are able to stand by your own desires. However, you will probably also feel a sense of not belonging because your so called "friends" or "others" may not respond positively to your decisions, but that's okay. For most people, it takes a lot of courage to stick to their morals & standards & say "no" even if you have to stand alone, & if you ever feel alone just know that somewhere out there, all around the world, there are people like yourself, fighting the same battle as you, & doing what is right of them, so you're not the only one who's alone. However, It's important that you take control of yourself to ensure that you are the best person you can possibly grow up to be, without worrying about what friends or strangers may say about you, think about you, or want you to do. Without that strength, others may use you to their advantage & may feel superior to you -- telling you what to do & who you SHOULD be. Remember, never give in to any activity if that's NOT the type of person you are. It is always better to break away from that peer pressure instead, & while people may tease you at first, they will have so much more respect for you in the end. Why? Because it takes a lot more talent, & a lot more skills not to participate in these acts.
To avoid peer pressure, try to look at yourself in the mirror & reflect back on who you are as a person. It's certainly never too late to change who you are as a person for the better if you're always falling into peer pressure. If you have too, try to keep to yourself for a few days or weeks to re-examine your standards, morals, values, & beliefs, & maybe change them for the better if you have too. It's always important to give yourself as much time as needed to learn to think these thoughts over for yourself. In other words, educate yourself & make your own decisions about what is right for you, & what is wrong, & not what other people THINK is right or wrong for you. For example, would you rather be told that in order to live a happy life you have a lot of friends who peer pressure you into doing certain activities just so you could feel more social with yourself, & feel better about yourself? Or would you rather think to yourself for a minute, put all your friends aside, stick to your morals, values, beliefs & think of the consequences to these actions that you're being told to do, while refusing to participate, by staying true to yourself & what you believe in, by trying to educate those on peer pressure, & having to lose friends afterwards because nobody agreed with you at the end? The point is that It's NEVER okay to let anyone who's a drinker, a smoker, a druggie, a criminal, a sex addict, a partier, a bully, & etc, tell you who you SHOULD hang out with & who you SHOULD be & what you SHOULD do, no matter how much you try to educate these people on the negative effects of peer pressure. Again, if you have to lose all your friends over a decision that you refused to make, because you were staying true to who you are, then so be it. Why succumb to peer pressure if people won't listen to anything you have to say & are telling you to do something that does NOT define who you truly are? If that's the case, just let your so called "friends" or "others" waste their own lives & money with drinks, drugs, ciggs, sex, parties, criminal records, transmitted diseases, & etc, if they want to, but make sure you don't become the idiot like they are, for you should get rid of these friends or avoid making contact with strangers who also force you to do things, because they are just a bad influence on you & they know that they can make you do anything by pressuring you into it, so why feed into these people? You must understand that people who you encounter with in life aren't real friends or good influences if they don't even give a damn about your morals, your beliefs, your values, your own health or your own well-being by trying to get you into smoking, drugs, drinking, sex, partying, violence, bullying, & etc. No matter where you go in life, & who you end up being around, there will always be people who will want you to be "just like them." Why? Because this makes them feel better about themselves & what they are doing & not doing, as far as their actions are concerned.
However, when you face peer pressure, I encourage you make it a habit to remind yourself that you are not just one of the pack, & that you don't need to "fit in" with everyone else to become social, or become cool, or "popular." Obviously, if these so called "people" who peer pressure you are your friends, or people who you talk too, then they would understand where your coming from & would ultimately respect your decisions, & if not, then kick them to the curb & walk away. Always remember to stay strong, have confidence, stick to your standards, values & goals, & NEVER settle for anything less. Always remember that the people who achieve the most in life are NOT the ones who just "go with the flow" but rather be who they are, because they love their self's & the choices that they make & also have what it takes to stand up for what they believe in, & to say "no" to others who force them to be someone their not, & aren't afraid to stand alone. If you be your own person, you will be more educated & smarter then most people today. When you think about jumping into peer pressure, just remind yourself how your decisions today will last years later down the line if you were to become peer pressured into half the things your friends & others are doing today. You don't want continue to be a follower at an early age & do stupid, silly things that you're going to regret in your life. Why? Because these senseless acts that you have done in the past will most likely come back to haunt you & live with you for ever at some point in your life. However, at this point in your life, It's always better to start becoming a leader of your own & be yourself, rather then becoming peer pressured into someone your not, but I can't change your thoughts or how you choose to live your life. Always remember though, that only YOU can hold the power to be who you are, who you want to be with, what do you want to do, where you want to be in life, & so much more.
So what's your decision? Would you rather have less friends & be your own leader from this point on in your life that will be admired & respected for who you truly are, or do you want to continue to follow others down the road so you can gain more friends by socializing & participating in activity's with the wrong types of people, that will more then likely come back to haunt you when you get older? The question now lies in your hands...
P.s. I want to thank those who read my post's, chime in, & are very supportive. Thanks for the love...
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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