Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
My message to young teenagers, Men & Woman who are in a painful, but stressful relationship:
In life, sometimes when you're in a stressful, but painful relationship with your partner who you really care & love, but at the same time, they do thing's that you don't like or don't appreciate of their actions, & you are begging for them to change for the better, thing's that may be unhealthy for the relationship, such as smoking, drinking, constantly getting drunk, doing weed, drugs, or things that may be abusive to the relationship, such as repeatedly hurting you with personal body parts or objects, physically while constantly yelling at each other, or even thing's that may be bad for the relationship in general, such as excessive clinginess, irresponsibility, or even showing unworthiness by partying with other Men / Woman behind your back or cheating with other Men / Woman behind your back, while not caring how you would feel, or is constantly wanting sex from you for the pleasure of it, or using you as a sex buddy, or even in situations when you are giving in more than you are getting back out of the relationship, or even if you are trying your hardest to improve the relationship or make it work by talking it out with your partner, but at the same time they refuse to listen to what you have to say & isn't involved in putting any effort to make thing's work out for the better, even if that means sitting down with you, listening to you, having a serious conversation with you about how you guys feel about each other, & willing to break bad habits to strengthen the relationship & etc.
For anyone who's in a relationship, & notices that this type of abusive, physical, untrustworthy, emotional, unhealthy, sexual, clinginess, bad, painful, but stressful relationship continues for you & all other options of trying to better the relationship with your partner fail & all other options seem to cave in on you & your only option is to let go of him/her, no matter how much you may still "love" them, even if it hurts you deep down inside, then I encourage you that you break the relationship off & to take a deep breath & release yourself of pain & stress, knowing that you've done all you could to try to better your partner & the relationship itself, but your partner had no desires of wanting to change their ways for the better of the relationship. Understand that you don't deserve to be treated this way, & that you deserve MUCH better. Someone who will love you for you, someone who will care about how you feel, someone who will care about you enough to respect you, be honest to you, be faithful to you, won't physically abuse you, but will protect you & keep you secure, someone who will always be there for you, someone who will care about your decisions or idea's & will love you so much that they will put fourth the effort of wanting to make adjustments in the relationship, even if that means they have to change their old ways, for the better, just to better the relationship & take the stress off of you, because they love you THAT much & they can't picture their life without you.
Always remember, by leaving ANY stressful, but painful relationship, you're absolutely doing the right thing in this type of situation, by letting go of the stress & pain that you no longer have to suffer from. However, when you leave a stressful relationship, don't think that you should just let go of everything else that life has to offer to you in the future & start to dwell on the past from this point on in your life because all a sudden you are unhappy with the decision that you had made at the time when you were stressed & in pain with somebody who you thought you had loved & cared for, but had no desires of wanting to change for the better of their self & the relationship no matter how many times you had tried to change them as a person, or told them how you felt about wanting to better the relationship. Chances are that you've done the right thing by leaving the relationship by moving on & letting go of your pain & stress. Remember, if your partner REALLY cared about the relationship & wanted to keep the relationship alive, & really loved & cared for you, for who you are, your decisions, & how you felt towards their actions, then that person would take everything you had mentioned into consideration & would do all they can to not only respect your decisions, but to show that they respect you enough, to want to adjust them self's to make a change for the better of their self & the relationship, to create a more positive atmosphere within the relationship, which then put's less uncertainly, pain, & stress on yourself & the relationship, knowing that your partner is listening to you & doing all they can to make the relationship work, which then shows that the relationship has some type of "real love" to it. So again, if you're someone that has made the decision to get out of a stressful relationship in the first place, chances are that you have not found true love yet, but are only starting to experience what love is like in a relationship. I think that's why some of us become so attached to the people who we think loves us, because we think that love itself can't hurt us, so we try to avoid the hurt, & attempt to make "love" happen from our other partner which is nearly impossible when your partner chooses not to love you, or care about what you have to say, & will do thing's that exclude you from the picture & will only do things & make their own decisions to satisfy or make themselves happy, without talking to you or caring enough to know how you feel or think, & would rather hide important information & keep everything to their self, without you being around them. That is NOT true love.
Understand that for some young teenagers, Men & Woman in this world, that a relationship can only go so far, especially when one person or the other is doing more work in the relationship for the better, while the other is not cooperating, or putting in the effort, which can make the other person so emotionally & physically hurt & so stressed out by their partner, whether it'd be lying to one another, assuming information about one another, yelling at one another, constant abusiveness back & fourth, physical violence back & fourth, constant sex, excessive clinginess, irresponsibility & so fourth, to the point where one or the other feels as though the best way for them to release their pain, stress, & to live freely without having to worry about the stress or pain, is to leave the relationship, no matter how much work or effort you've put into the relationship. Understand that not all relationships are meant to be, no matter how much effort you put into them. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. Not all relationships will last forever. However, for those who are currently in a difficult relationship with someone who obviously doesn't want to change them self's for the better, nor do they care about your decisions, your emotions, or what you have to say, or doesn't care about you at all & is causing you excessive pain & stress, but at the same time you're trying to do all you can to make the relationship work because you love him/her, but they aren't willing to change, then just realize that at some point in your life, you will just have to let go of this person & your feelings for him / her. As hard & depressing as that may sound, just remember that once you let go of this person, then you will no longer have to suffer from stress, pain, or uncertainly, & what was the past, will then become memories. These memories that you've had with him/her at the time will always be there whether it's good or bad memories, because every time you remember those memories, it will always put a smile into your heart, knowing that at some point you have had the chance to experience love in some type of way & also got to learn from those past memories that you've had. In all honesty, you should be glad that for once in your life this person has once made you happy at some point, & had put colors into your life even if it was for a short amount of time, or for a while. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Everyday you live is another blessing, a new opportunity, & a new beginning, so it's best to live your life as relaxing as possible & to make everyday count because we all don't know when we will leave this world. Cherish every moment you have with loved ones & never regret or dwell behind anything in life, including your past relationships, because everything in life happens for a reason. Always release yourself of those who cause you pain & suffering that you can no longer handle or deal with, no matter how hard you try. Surround yourself with only those who bring love & joy into your life. If you choose to do this, your whole world changes. Do this & you will walk down the path of true happiness. Look at every day & smile that God has kept you alive, because there's nothing sweeter than life. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh & will always bring out your true colors, forget the bad, & focus on the good that life has to offer to you, & always remember to love the people who treat you right, who care about your feelings, your emotions, respects your decisions, your beliefs, & will always be there for you no matter what. Think good thoughts for the people who had never treated you right or had no desires of wanting to put in effort by bettering their self's for both, you & the relationship in general, for they had missed out on getting to be with a very special, but unique person. Again, Life is too short to be anything but happy & stress free of pain. Sometimes letting go of the person you truly loved is like taking an arrow to the knee & falling down. Releasing your pain & stress is like getting back up & becoming stronger. That's part of living & it's part of life.
When you think of your past relationship, you may view it as a failure, but when you find a new relationship, you view the past as a teacher. In the game of love, it really doesn't matter who won or who lost. What is important is that you know when to hold on & when to let go of a person. You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy, even if his or her happiness means that you're not a part of it. Everything happens for the best. If the person you're in a relationship doesn't love you back, or doesn't care enough to want to make the relationship work anymore with you, then don't be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try. You'll never have a successful relationship unless you risk to "love." Love strives in hurting & If you don't get hurt in some way, shape, or form, then you don't learn how to love. Love doesn't hurt all the time, though the hurting will still be their inside of you to test you & help you grow. Let's face it, sometimes relationships come to an end & unfortunately, that's the reality of life. The fact of life is that people change & grow overtime, & sometimes people who you once knew, who may turned out to be that nice, sweet, caring, lovable person you thought you had once loved or cared about, turns out to be a completely different person who may not ever want to change who they are at this point on, someone who you may not be comfortable with anymore, someone who you may fear & are begging for them to change who they are, witch then causes stress, pain, & uncertainly on yourself of what will happen in the relationship at this point on. I do however, believe that everything happens for a reason. I understand that it's upsetting when you fallout with people or break up with someone you had once loved & cared about because they were unwilling to change their self or put in any effort in the relationship. However, we must remember that all the things that happen to us during our lives, help to shape us into the people we are today & we are able to learn & grow from both, the good & bad things that happen to us. There are always the potential to meet new friends & start new relationships that can be better, more stress free & less painful, then the relationships you've had before. I will say, that it IS possible to find friends that will last you a life time, who, chances are, ONE of them will likely turn out to be your partner who you will be with forever. Understand that sometimes people have to go through a few bad, stressful & painful relationships, until they find the right relationship. Don't let that scare or haunt you, or put you down, though we have to understand that love is precious, it is better to have been loved & lost, rather than never loved at all. The fact that we are able to feel pain & stress in a relationship makes the times when we feel loved, THAT much more precious.
P.s If anyone needs to seek any advice about relationships stress or anything else aside from relationships in general, please don't hesitate to send me a private message & we will discuss in further detail, about your situation.
As always, thank you for your time in reading my post's. I appreciate the love & support from you all...
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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