Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
My message to young teenagers, Men & Woman - What it means to give "respect" to another human being in today's society:
First of all, let me start off by saying that the word "respect" is a quality that's seriously lacking in today's society, but furthermore, I feel as though the problem with the word "respect" now a days is that it's something every human deserves but not every human gives. We must understand that It's extremely important to respect others the way you'd want to be respected because it keeps a level of "civility" in our society, for we are not individuals who happen to live together, but we are a group that lives under common rules & laws of our society, & is also the unwritten law of which all people must abide by to get far in life, especially when it comes to authority. Without respect we would not follow laws, & we would not have a civilized society where people are allowed to be who they are & what they want to be without being discriminated, but on the flip-side, respect simply allows us to co-exist & not fall into complete anarchy. Sometimes I think that the lack of "respect" is caused by young teenagers, Men & Woman who were not, or never respected by their parents during childhood. We must understand that during childhood, children learn how to respect from those who raise them & the children will always imitate the actions of the adults because they look up to them. "Respect" is simply not something that we are born with. It is something that we are taught, & if we are wise, then eventually we start the realize that respect is what we show toward others. Yes, it's true that if you give respect, to get respect, but when it comes to childhood & youth, I believe every child SHOULD be taught respect simply by showing them respect & also by explaining to them HOW to respect. I think respect should be given right away -- It's like trust. You should trust your children & they will learn to be trustworthy, for respect & trust usually go hand in hand. For example, you wouldn't normally respect someone you couldn't trust, same as you probably wouldn't trust someone you didn't respect. This is extremely important because If you act like you don't trust your own children during their childhood, then your children may start to doubt their self- worth & it is at that time (when they reach adulthood) that these people start to make poor choices, as in disrespecting those who they make contact with, just for the sake of it, without properly being educated upon what it is to show respect & give respect to another human being.
So let's talk a little bit about what it means to give respect:
First of all, giving respect towards others in society means valuing one's others points of views, beliefs, or opinions without stereotyping, labeling, or judging them because they may have slightly or insignificant different viewpoints then you have, but rather try to understand where they are coming from, or the point they're trying to get across to you. In this case, it is okay to disagree or agree with one's views, beliefs, or opinions, but giving respect also shows that you have at least valued & acknowledged what was said of that person. Not only should you acknowledge & value what their own views, belief's & opinions are, but you should also have enough respect to not interrupt a person when they're directly speaking to you about whatever the subject may be. Part of giving respect, is to have smooth & direct communication going back & fourth between you & the person you're speaking too, so interrupting them when they're speaking, will make you seem inconsiderate & rude, but also disrespectful. When having a direct conversation with a person, it's important to show respect by making eye contact with them, to acknowledge that you're actually focused & listening to what's being said, & not dozing off somewhere else. Other forms of direct communication that show respect include making friendly facial expressions, showing body language, smiling, nodding your head, & giving the person time to express their thoughts, feelings, needs, values , concerns, & beliefs or perspectives & etc. To give respect, means being open to being wrong. In some cases, if you know deep down inside that you're wrong about something that you have either said to someone, did to someone (in terms of your actions) or had made the wrong decision, choice, or you have made a incorrect error, you should always give enough respect for the other person to stand up & openly admit that you were wrong & that you now acknowledge your mistakes. Giving respect also means accepting people as they are -- whether they're White, Black, Mixed, or gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, lesbian & etc, without trying to change who they are as a person, for your own "needs" or "wants." It means not disliking & treating certain people a different way because they're different then you, but rather keep an open mind towards others & accept everyone freely, for we are all unique individuals in this world. People who give respect, are normally the one's who build solid, but strong friendships or relationships with anyone they encounter with, & this normally comes from valuing & accepting those for who they are without fear or judgement of one's physical appearance or what their beliefs, values, & faith's are. To give respect, means not going off, or "flipping the switch" on someone to the point where you start to shout bad, but inappropriate curse words, with the possibility of becoming physically violent towards others who are around you, for the simple fact that you're stressed or have had a bad / rough day, but rather being considerate & respectful enough to be polite & kind to others who are around you anyway, no matter what your emotions are or the circumstances you're put in, because being kind & polite to people is not negotiable -- for it's something that's normally required to earn respect. Giving respect also means acknowledging someones contributions & worth -- no this does not mean that it's okay to go around in public or on the internet, gossiping about somebody or spreading lies behind their backs to harass them & start rumors about them that aren't true, to hurt that person, but rather give respect to build them up to become a stronger person, instead of tearing them down -- this could mean helping them with their problems, giving them advice, giving them encouraging words, inspiring them, always being there for them, always standing beside them when they're feeling alone, & standing up for them when they're feeling weak, while showing that you're courteous & appreciative of their presence, for you should always have respect to treat people in the manner in which you expect to be treated, to show consideration for another person's feelings & the circumstances they're put in. Giving respect is not only about building a person up by helping them, but also giving them their own space to themselves when needed. Though it is good to help others & always be there for them, you must also realize that giving respect also includes giving others their own time to think to their self's, heal their self's, or even grieve during hard times, until they're ready to open up again & move on, for It is not necessary or normal to become "clingy" to someone. Everyone deserves their own space & free time to themselves & that's just part of giving respect. To give respect also means to love & accept yourself for all that you are first, before you can love & respect others. Though we can't do much about what other people may think of us, what's important is to try to do your best in each situation, to be the best person you can be. Eventually, that does tend to affect the way others respect us, but it doesn't happen because we're focused on their opinions, its just a natural result of being ourselves. If you can't accept who you are first, there is no way you can truly give respect to others with an open heart, if you can't accept who you are first. If this is the case, i encourage you that you learn to accept yourself first before you can spread the love around, in which love typically leads to self-respect towards yourself, which will also give you the strength to respect others who are around you & those who you communicate with, & will also show an attitude demonstrating that you value another person for who they are -- for you should always treat your friends, family, or even strangers with respect & care about their feelings because It is an exclamation used to indicate your admiration & respect for someone -- something everyone expects, but few have willingness to show. Giving respect is also helpful in the workplace, schools, & in college. Through equal treatment, people can get along, coexist & go about their day, doing their daily routine & getting their work done, without having to worry about defending themselves or worry about being subjected to cruel treatment by another person. Through respect, cooperation between coworkers or fellow students is much more possible to cope with & more beneficial. We must understand that the word "respect" is the most important ingredient in a social atmosphere. It's the feeling of reverence or esteem that you bear for someone. It is true that people who are simply worthy of our respect, command respect & never demand it.
The truth has always been said that in order to get respect you need to give respect -- that's absolutely true. What goes around comes around, so if you want respect, one must show respect. Although it is true that others may or may not merit our respect, giving others their dignity protects our integrity & honor. We can set limits, but we do not have to stoop to gross behavior to protect those boundaries. Showing respect to others & allowing them their dignity shows belief in another persons potential & allows healing & growth. We must see that potential. We all need respect, regardless of how immature & ignobly we may behave. We all need others to see our potential & honor it to better encourage us to grow into it. Why is that? Because respect is the center of society, for without it there would be chaos & no one would care what others would say, or do, in terms of their language or actions. As stated above, respect is honoring the worth or dignity in a person or process. When we respect others, we take their preferences & ideas seriously. We thoughtfully weigh our own insights & experiences against theirs. Respect is merited particularly by those who are our elders as well, because knowledge, insight & wisdom often are hard won through a lifetime of discipline & learning. Respect as a virtue does not mean insisting that all ideas, beliefs, or actions are respect-worthy, nor does mean that we recognize the basic human dignity of others, even when their ideas or values are different than our own. A general attitude of respect also assumes that each person has something to teach us, even if we are willing to learn. Respect is very important because when people have respect for one another they are able to communicate much better & they are able to get along better when everyone respects each other. It's a positive feeling of esteem, care, & understanding from one person to another which creates a more balanced, but positive society.
If you ask me, I believe that respect should be free. In my opinion, when you encounter others, you should not have to earn respect any other way than by just being who you are, & by being a respectful individual yourself. I give everyone my respect for free, unless of course they do something that hurts me. In that case, I just stay away from them, & I feel distrust. All someone has to do to earn my respect is treat me the way they want to be treated, & be honest with me. I don't demand much else, & I don't understand why some people do.
Hopefully with this little bit of insight I have to offer, this information will help young teenagers, Men & Woman learn what respect means, & how to give respect in today's society. I want to give thanks to those who read my post's, chime in, & have been supportive of me through my journey of written novels & blogs. I appreciate the love & support from you all.
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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