Last updated: July 13th, 2018
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
Sex after marriage, proud to be virgin:
First of all, I'll never understand why nowadays young teenagers, Men & Woman walk up to me either in public or on social media & say:
"Why are you still a virgin? You're 24 years old?"
or,
"You're so cute, I find it hard to believe that you're a virgin."
I tell these young teenagers, Men & Woman I'm still a virgin because I'm not none of these other guys who will lay up with just any Woman I see. I have some respect for myself, & some dignity. I don't want to be that guy who would lay a Woman just because of her looks, then leave her the next day. I don't want to be that guy who sleeps with 2 or 3 other Woman every night, just for the sake of it. I don't want to be that guy who goes to parties just to get drunk & high & lose track of who I am. I don't want to be that guy who goes around getting other Woman pregnant & carry around STD's or other transmitted diseases. I don't want to be that guy who's labeled as a "player" type by others. I don't want to be that guy who goes around, disrespecting my own self worth & my own well being. I don't want to be that guy who loses my virginity with the wrong person.
I want to be that guy who saves my virginity for the Woman that God will bring into my life. I want to be that guy who sits down with my Woman & know everything about her. I want to be that guy that finds the Woman of my life & will treat her like a princess & respect her decisions of wanting to stay a virgin until marriage, no differently then how she respects mine. I want to be that guy who she marries & spends the rest of her life with, knowing that she has made the right decision in her life. I want to be that guy who she looks at her friends & says, "Yes, that's him."
With that being said, I have noticed that other people may have different opinions & views towards virginity, so I'm going to pitch in & tell everyone my own view point:
As a Christian, It seems to me that most young teenagers, Men & Woman these days are careless of their virginity, one day they may have it & the next day they might not. Understand that you don't have to have sex to be in a committed relationship with your boyfriend, or girlfriend. Don't ever let your friends, or anyone else make you second guess yourself, because at the end of the day YOU are the only one who has to live with your decisions & it's certainly better to avoid doing something, or someone, that you will likely regret, especially if you haven't known your partner for long enough. I believe that being a virgin is better when it is valued. Any Woman or Man worth being with in a relationship will respect your decisions, & won't change that for anything. It's worth finding someone who stays in the relationship for you, rather than your virginity & your physical appearance. There's nothing wrong with waiting for the right Man / Woman to show up in your life at the most unexpected time. However, when you're in a relationship, It's better to enjoy the relationship with someone you are comfortable with & trust, rather than rushing into a relationship with someone your not totally comfortable with. The truth be told is that being a virgin is all about how well you can use your self-control & how patient you can be when it comes to peer pressure in today's oversexed society, & that's what most young teenagers, Men & Woman struggle to deal with. This goes for all the Men & Woman out here, I don't care what age you are, if you're 20, 30 , 40 years old, or up, there is nothing wrong with still being a virgin, especially in this day & age. First of all, virginity is nothing to mess around with now a days, & second, your virginity is NOT something that should be given up to just any random person you happen to meet, or jump in a relationship with. Virginity should be something that is taken seriously, because once you lose it, you are no longer "pure" again. Now, whatever your own reasons are for remaining a virgin should be your own business, but I'm speaking up for all the virgin's in this world. It is BEST to ignore your so called "friends" or others who label you, judge you, or stereotype you because you're a virgin, & they're not, because the people who normally laugh & make fun of you are normally the people who are jealous that they have lost their virginity too early, & wish they should of saved it, & are very ignorant in terms of their behavior towards you & not accepting of you, or others. My recommendation to all young teenagers, Men & Woman out here, is to find the right Man / Woman who haves or shares the same beliefs as you do, & by doing that, it will make the "wait" worthwhile & all the more special in the end. I, myself, am 23 years old. I'm a virgin & very proud of it, but do I let my friends, or others get to me by making fun of me & becoming peer pressured in wanting to lose my virginity & becoming someone I'm not? No, I don't care what others may think of me, or how long I have to wait until I finally lose my virginity to the Woman of my dreams. Life isn't some rat race to see who loses their virginity the quickest. We must understand that there's no rush in having sex. Believe me, when you're married you can have all the sex in the world that you or your partner want, but realize that sex before marriage doesn't necessarily keep a relationship alive. It's the love, hard work, & commitment that keeps a relationship alive, so for those who are still virgins, don't freak out or think you're a loser or your not normal because all your "friends", or everyone else around you are having sex, & your not, because the one thing that your friends or people around you who aren't virgins, wont tell you is that they feel empty inside, that they're just going through these motions to fit in with others & to be accepted.
Being a virgin is not only good, but BEST for numerous reasons. Our oversexed society has put such a pressure on everyone, especially immature & irresponsible young kids & Men / Woman, to party & have sex, but sex is not a game. If you're not careful, it will literally consume your life. Young teenagers, Men & Woman who lose their virginity early are playing with fire. Why? Because of potential pregnancy, STD’s, excessive drama, heartache, & are going directly against the Bible. Most couples end up having sex outside of marriage because their not religious or they don't have control over their own bodies. Being a virgin keeps your body pure. Once you lose it, you lose that pureness forever. With every time you have sex outside of marriage, you lose a portion of your spirit to that undeserving person. While having sex may feel good while you're doing it, after wards it's just going to leave you empty in the end. Everyone on this planet has a desire to be loved & to display love in an affectionate way & that's completely normal. I just advise you not to have sex, just to have sex. Sexual emotions are strong but they are also extremely untrustworthy & deadly, so be wise in all your decisions that you choose to make.
Down below, list's a few of my own advice that most young Woman & Men should consider about virginity:
Number 1: Advice For the Woman -- There will be some guys out there (the smooth players) who will tell a nice Woman that he loves her, just to see how far she will let him go with her body. There are Men out there who are ready & willing to use you & your body for their own selfish pleasure & then leave, breaking your heart in the process, & possibly leaving you pregnant... or with an STD (a nasty disease in your private parts.) Hopefully, when you are dating, you will be mature enough to recognize these losers & say "No."
Number 2: Advice For the Men & Woman -- Any Woman can meet a genuinely nice & decent guy, & then at some point you both really THINK you love each other, but after a few weeks or months, you both might be tempted to take off your clothes together. Yeah, that would be a good way to mess up both of your young lives. It's happened to a lot of nice young Woman & decent guys out there. Hopefully, you will be mature enough to resist this type of temptation when the temptation can be very strong to handle.
Number 3: Advice For the Men & Woman -- The best way to avoid having sex is to never be completely alone with each other, anywhere. You can always find a little privacy somewhere if you want to do some romantic kissing, like on a front porch outside, a dark, but dim living room, & so fourth, but don't make the surroundings completely private to where you & your partner would be able to take each others clothes off.
Number 4: Advice For the Men & Woman -- You should also never attend a party where no adults are present, ever. Nor any events with drugs or alcohol abuse. Why? Because young teenagers, Men & Woman will take advantage due to the fact that there's no supervision. Plus, things can get out of hand very quickly if someone is drinking or doing drugs. If someone gets drunk or high on drugs, it causes them not to think right in their head which can certainly lead to sex if the situation is right.
Number 5: Advice For the Men & Woman -- Ideally, before you start dating, you need to make a conscious decision to remain a virgin until you are happily married. That means no premarital sex. Why? Because having sex too early will make you feel sad, cheap, & make it less special (same thing with kissing in case you do it too early with the wrong Man / Woman) but kissing isn't as dangerous then having sex.
Number 6: Advice For Men & Woman -- Don't believe everything people tell you. Watch them carefully & evaluate whether or not their words are consistent with his actions for several days, weeks, & even months. See if they truly respect you for who you are.
Number 7: Advice For the Men & Woman -- There will be people in this world who will ask for your virginity, beg for it, & try to talk you into it, but realize that once a person steals your virginity, your sex forever changes how both of you feel about each other. After sex, their significant other will typically expect to be loved, but then they will no longer respect the person they had sex with & will soon leave you, so please be aware of the fact that there are people out there who are like that.
Number 8: Advice For the Men & Woman -- By refusing to participate in premarital sex, you'll find out pretty quickly if the person you are dating just wants to get into your pants, or if they truly respect you, your body, your heart, your soul, your feelings, your values, & your family.
Number 9: Advice For the Men & Woman -- If you want a long term relationship that will lead into marriage, you need to find that special someone who will be honorable & be very good to you as you grow into a decent young woman. They may not be the hottest-looking person around, but you will love them just the way they are. The ideal person who you're with should be proud to take you home to meet their parents & their family. Someone who has earned the respect of your parents & family. Someone who will ask for your hand in marriage. Someone who is willing to stand together with you in a wedding ceremony before both of your families in church.
Number 10: Advice For the Men & Woman -- It's never wise to date a Man / Woman who is not honorable & just wants your body for temporary, then will leave you like you never existed. A problem like that is much more likely to happen if you give away your body without the commitment of marriage. You will be really happy when you are older & you look back over your life, happy that you have made the right decisions about finding, dating, & evaluating people when you were young.
Thank you for your time in reading what I wrote. I appreciate the love & support from you all...
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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