Last updated: July 14th, 2018
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
My message to young teenagers, Men & Woman - How to be yourself:
First off, let me start by saying that nobody in this world is close from perfect, but God has created all of us to be unique individual human beings that no one else in this world will ever be. We are all born differently, so be yourself because you're special in some way, shape, or form, aside from everyone else. Of course anyone in this world can judge you or have their opinion about you as a individual, but realize that their approval isn't needed for you to be yourself. Be your own person in this world regardless of what anyone says towards you & refuse to change for anyone. Remember, nobody can say you're living your life wrong, when It's your life that you're living. What most young teenagers, Men & Woman in this world need to realize is that one of the hardest things to do in life is to be yourself in a world that's trying to make you turn out to be like everybody else. Always remember, don't be a follower, be a leader, be your own leader. Set your own examples, make your own decisions, make your own choices, create your own happiness & live your life the way YOU would want too, to it's fullest. Don't be a follower. If you follow the crowd, then you're not being yourself or staying true to yourself or living your life as how you'd want it to be, simply because you want to "fit" in or do the same thing's that others do for the sake of it. Always remember, If you water yourself down to please other people or to "fit" in, then you lose the power, the passion, the freedom & the joy for being uniquely, you. It's much easier to love yourself when you are being yourself. You should never be ashamed of who you are. The one thing you should always keep in mind is that you have to accept that not everyone in this world is going to love you back, that's why it's most important to love yourself. Living your own life Is not about being what everyone wants you to be, it's about being yourself & eventually finding those who will truly love you for what you are. The only thing that will make you happy is being happy with who you are & not who people think you are. If you always accept you who are as a person & become comfortable for your flaws, then nobody in this world can ever use them against you, so don't change yourself just to please someone or to "fit" in because another person has told you too. Understand that life is SO much easier when you're being real & humble to yourself. It's better to be simple, original & unique in your own way, rather then stressing yourself out by acting or impersonating to become someone else that you're not. Look at it like this, being yourself, being real, being humble, takes absolutely 0% effort & puts 0% stress on yourself because there's no work involved. Now wouldn't you prefer to stay true to yourself, be yourself & stay "real," & "humble" to yourself rather then attempting to "act" or play a "role" or "impersonate" somebody because of what they may look like, or how they might act in public, or the thing's the say, or the things they do, or how they feel, or the decisions they make, & so fourth? Understand something here, when you try to play a role, or act, or impersonate someone, it takes a whole lot of effort out of you & a whole lot of lies about who you really are. It takes too much work to play somebody Else's role & to be someone you're not & it will definitely make you unhappy with yourself in the long run. It then becomes more difficult to live your own life because you start losing track of the person you are, which then puts a lot of stress on you, & a lot of peer pressure on yourself from what others want & expect from you. You should never be someone you're not, because you will never become who you want to be in life if you keep blaming everyone else for who you are, keep that in mind. Not only should you be yourself, but you should also live your life at your own pace. Nobody in this world has the right to tell you how fast or slow paced you should live your life, so focus on yourself & who YOU are first & ALWAYS love yourself first before anybody else can. Do not change who you are to try to make other people like you or love you, just be yourself & the right people will show up into your life & love the real you. Stay true to yourself & never let go of who you are because again, the moment you let go is the moment you submit to the things that people tell you & want you to be, not being who you want to be, & most importantly, not being yourself. Always believe in yourself & follow your own judgment & make your own decisions, whether it's family decisions, friend decisions, school decisions, job decisions, career decisions, relationship decisions, smoking decisions, drinking decisions, drug decisions, & so fourth. Understand that God has made you to be who you are in this world, & nobody can change or judge you for the decisions you make or how you live your life, except God. It is only him, who can change & judge us each, individually. Remember, you are who you are, & you're living your own life at your own pace, making your own choices, your own decisions, your own happiness, your own success & so fourth, that nobody else can make in life, but yourself. The bottom line is that you should live your life the way you want too, but not to satisfy or please others. I encourage everyone to be a person of action, immovable in your determination, to be confident in your abilities, be unshakable in your convictions, be impervious to doubt, & to be insensitive to the negative opinions or judgements of everyone around you who may not have interest in you. Remember, you are a person, beautiful & unique, so express yourself, strengthen yourself, kick yourself, wet yourself with tears, dry yourself with confidence, be who you are, do what you want, say how you feel, love like its real, never let anyone suppress you, & most importantly, never let anything make you believe your life isn't worth living.
Here are the perks of being yourself:
1. You get to be real, anywhere you go in public.
2. You get to stay true to yourself.
3. You get to own yourself.
4. You get to have friends who like you for who you REALLY are.
5. You get to like yourself for who you REALLY are.
6. You get to take credit for owning YOUR decisions.
7. You get to learn from your mistakes because they’re YOUR mistakes.
8. You get to savor your accomplishments because they’re YOUR accomplishments.
9. You get to have friends who you TRULY like.
10. You get to know & understand yourself as a person, better then anyone can.
11. You get an opportunity to learn how to love & get along with yourself.
12. You get to freely open up your heart & express your own idea's, opinions, & belief's freely.
13. You get to live a better life, knowing that God has made you to be someone who no one will ever be.
I could go on & on about the perks of being yourself, but overall, there is nothing wrong with being yourself because it shows that you are confident about yourself & your well being. Being yourself means never lying to yourself or anyone else about who & what you are. You can be yourself all the time, doing the things you love, not doing things that are against your beliefs, your ethics or your morals. You can be strong enough to not care about what others think, & still have real friends who care about you for who you are, not what you pretend to be. Be the real you & you'll be happy. This shows that you have a high level of self-esteem & belief in yourself. You feel good about yourself & want to convey it to others that you are always yourself & not much into copying or simply aping others. Meaninglessly, aping is not something that you believe in. You should be unique & authentic in whatever you do. This is what you need to do so that you can claim & say that, "I'm Me." It's great to be original & authentic because these kinds of traits are what gives you great recognition & notice. Genuine, authentic & unique personalities always seize everyone’s attention & never fail to hog the spotlight. Be yourself & never get into the habit of copying or impersonating others.
Now, for those young teenagers, Men & Woman who don't know how to be their self's, I will help & pitch in with my own advice:
1. Find yourself -- You can't be yourself if you don't know, understand, & accept yourself first. It should be your primary goal to find this out. Try to take time to yourself & contemplate your life & choices. Sometimes finding out through trial & error helps more than you might think it does. You can even take personality tests, but be careful to only take what you want from them & not let them define you. Work on accepting mistakes & choices you've made.
2. Find your personality -- Get rid of the inhibitions that society imposes on you & concentrate on developing your own personality, especially if your not sure what it is yet. Your personality is pretty much a composite of things you like (music, food, entertainment, books, styles, types of people, places you like to go to & etc.) & things you like to do (activities, leisure, hobbies, sports & etc,) the way you look at & feel about the world & the people around you, what you think about, what you dreams, your values, your fears, your talents, your pet peeves & even the kind of family & family history you have can be a part of your personality. These are all things that we are not always aware of, especially because they often change during our life, but are important parts of who we are.
3. Stop caring about how people perceive you -- The fact is, it really doesn't matter. It's impossible to be yourself when you're caught up in wondering "Do they think I'm funny?" "Do they think I'm fat?" "Do they think I'm stupid?" & etc. To be yourself, you've got to let go of these concerns & just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter, not their consideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person or a group of people, another person or group may not like you, & you could go around in a vicious cycle trying to please people, it's totally pointless in the end, & it leaves you exhausted. However, if someone you trust & respect critiques aspects of who you are, feel free to judge (honestly) whether or not it is accurate instead of accepting or dismissing the critique unconditionally.
4. Be honest & open -- What have you got to hide? We're all imperfect, growing, learning human beings. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself & you feel that you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally, then you have to come to terms with that & learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks. Be honest with yourself, but don't beat yourself up. There is a difference between being critical & being honest. Learn to watch the way you say things to yourself & others when being honest.
5. Relax -- Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face by making a few mistakes or failing miserably at something. Learn to laugh at yourself when it happens & after it happens. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets others in this world know that you're not perfect & makes you feel more at ease as well. It's also an attractive quality for someone to be able to laugh at themselves & not take themselves too seriously.
6. Develop & express your individuality -- Whether it's your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, then be proud of it, unless it's destructive to yourself or others. Be a character, not a type.
7. Have a productive day -- Accept that some days you will encounter will be good days & some days you will encounter will be good days. People might raise eyebrows & even make fun of you because of that, but as long as you can shrug & say "Hey, it is what it is" & leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, & you'll respect yourself.
8. Believe in who you are -- If you're always working to be someone you're not, you'll never be a happy person. Be yourself & show the world you're proud of the way you are. Nobody knows you better than you & that's how it should be. You deserve to be your own best friend, so start trying to figure out how you can do that. If you had to hang out with yourself for a day, what is the most fun type of person you could be, while still being yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea & use that as your starting point.
9. Follow your own style --The common thing a lot of people do is copy others actions because it seems like the better route to fit in, but really, shouldn't you stand out? Standing out yes, is very hard, but you need to try avoid assuming other people's perspectives of you. Maybe you like to sit outside on the deck under a umbrella in the middle of the rain, maybe you have different ideas of things, rather than other people, maybe you have different beliefs or opinions then others, maybe you like strawberry cake instead of the common chocolate chip cake & etc. Whatever makes you who you are, accept it, regardless of how different you may be from others. Being different is absolutely beautiful & it attracts people to you.
P.s Good luck to those who are still trying to figure them self's out in this world. It's not as hard as you may think, but it definitely requires a lot of patience. I hope this information has helped you in any way, shape, or form.
Need more advice or need my help? Feel free to message me & I will get back to you as soon as possible.
Thank you for your time in reading. As always, I appreciate the love from you all...
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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