Last updated: July 9th, 2018
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
The problem with most teenage relationships today:
I've seen a lot of Facebook status's lately about teenage relationships & witnessed a lot about teenage relationships lately, in person & everywhere on social media, so I'm going to pitch in & tell everyone what I think of teenage relationships in general.
It seems to me that the problem with teenage relationships now a days are that they are rushed & focused too much on physical appearance of one another & focused too much on sex at an early age & that's normally the #1 cause of why relationships end so quickly for most young teenagers today. You must understand that relationships are not about, "I want sex" or "I want that" or "Damn, he/she is sexy, I would definitely hit that." Its about two people caring & respecting one's desires & decisions. It's about two people who are able to handle a relationship slowly, until they figure out what they want in life. It's about two people who are able to compromise any issues that come along their way in life, but yet, can still see the positive & still move on as a couple to become stronger in the end. It's about being committed & staying loyal to one another, no matter what. It's about two people showing a positive attitude, no matter what kind of situation they're faced with. It's about showing teamwork & effort, not because you have too, but because you love one another & you're willing to do anything for them. The problem today is that young teenagers are quick to jump into a relationship, because they're desperate, bored, or simply because they have been depressed for a while of not having a relationship. This can sometimes be caused by being unhappy with yourself, or being peer pressured to want to "fit" in with the rest of everyone else or your friends. Listen, just because your "friends" or "others" have relationships, does not mean you have to have a relationship anytime soon. It is better if you wait patiently for the person God has in store for you. God knows what your silent heart wants, even if you don't include it in your prayers. He hears what your heart whispers. He may not give it to you now but someday, when you least expect it, good things will happen in the best possible way. You should always follow & listen to your own heart & what it wants, & that's what most young adults fail to realize now a days. It's one thing if you're in a relationship & it doesn't work out. Not all relationships are meant to be. However, The problem is that young teenagers who don't have a clue about relationships, want to meet anybody, just for the sake of it, then jump straight into a relationship without completely getting to know their partners personality traits, while only knowing that person for not even a week or so, then decide to be with that person simply for their appearance & then the next few days or weeks afterwards, they become sexually attached to each other, then want to have sex & loose their virginity in a instinct. This is the exact reason why I feel as though most relationships aren't taken very serious now a days. Why? Well because young teenage girls & boys are loosing their virginity at a young age over something as stupid as the physical attraction of one another.
What ever happened to getting to know someone who you've known or met in your life for years now, very deeply, & getting to know all about their character & personality traits, rather then how they look? What ever happened to taking relationships slowly, instead of wanting sex & begging for sex all the time & being turned on just for the simple fact of how a Man or Woman looks, or what their physical appearance may look like? What ever happened to friendships first, then relationships? What ever happened to getting to know someone for who they are on the inside, before making decisions based upon whether you want to start a long term relationship, commit & stay loyal to that person? Again, It's one thing if you're in a relationship & it doesn't work out, simply because if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be, & you would know that if you follow & listen to your heart & what you feel is the right choice to make when in a relationship. As I mentioned before, I think relationships are rushed & focused too much on sex & physical appearance of another Man / Woman & not focused enough on compassion for one another, respect, honesty, love, teamwork, commitment, trust, loyalty, & etc. Now a days, It seems like most young teenagers don't value these traits or take them very seriously & just want to skip straight to sex, & while doing so, these young teenagers lose their virginity & they no longer become "pure" anymore. Then to make matters worse the Man or Woman who you were in a relationship with, eventually becomes more sexually attracted to somebody else, or has moved on to someone else rather than you, & then that person leaves you by your side like you never existed, or you were "nothing" to them & then in the end, you're the one who's lost your virginity & getting screwed over, not because your partner had actually "loved" you, but simply because of the physical looks of another Man & Woman & the sex that was involved.
So, my advice to all young teenagers is, be careful who you meet or see in person. Don't let the "looks" or appearance of a another person fool you. I don't care if you're White, Black, Blue, Pink, Orange, Mixed, or if you're American, Spanish, German, Mexican, African, Indian, Pakistan or if you're short or tall, or if you're fat, big, skinny, slender, athletic, average, or if you're overweight or underweight, or if you're emo, gothic, gay, transsexual, lesbian, straight, or if you have acme, pimples, dark spots, scars, or burns all over your body. I don't care if you're a deformed person, have an illness, disease, or even cancer. I don't care if you're bald, or have hair on your head, or not. In the end, we us humans are equally the same & nobody is more "sexier" or more "cute" looking then the next person. It's about the inside that matters in a person. it's all from the heart. So sit down, get to know someone deep down for who they are. Look for their personality traits. Are they kind? Are they easygoing? Are they respectful? Are they polite? Are they friendly? Are they honest? Are they faithful? These are all traits you should consider when getting to know someone. Never rush your self into any relationship. You have plenty of time to find that "right" person in your life, you have plenty of time to make choices in your life, take as much time as you need, but remember, it's never okay to jump into a relationship with someone just for the sex, the appearance, & the pleasure of being with them for temporary, then deciding to leave the relationship. My relationship advice is to find a nice & quiet surrounding where you can sit down with your partner One on One & have a deep conversation, & while doing so, it's VERY important to ask questions about your partner that you would want to know about them first. It's never okay to ask your partner questions that you know doesn't matter, or isn't important at the moment. Always ask your partner the most important questions first, that you would like to know about them. As your partner is answering your questions & exposing their personality about their self to you, ask yourself, "Is this what I really want in a relationship?" If not, the mature way of handling this would to be to let your partner finish speaking first, then slowly break it off with them, in a soft tone spoken voice, & nicely say that, "Hey, it's great that I'm getting to know a lot about you, but I don't think we were meant to be," then explain to your partner why this relationship isn't meant to be. When explaining to your partner why the relationship isn't meant to be, it's never a good thing to go beyond yourself when explaining to your partner why the relationship will not work. When explaining to your partner why it isn't going to work out, you should always start by explaining to your partner the bigger, most important differences between you & your partner first, so that way your partner fully understands where you are coming from, & truly understands how you feel, rather then breaking the relationship off because of small minded difference's, like your favorite color, your favorite brand cloths, your favorite food, sport, hobbies, music, & etc, that will most likely not even matter between the both of you & the relationship in general. As I've said before, if the relationship isn't meant to be in the first place, then that doesn't mean that friendship isn't an option afterwards. Most teenagers today assume that if a relationship doesn't work out, then it's over for good & that's the last they will ever see each other. That's not true, as you could always stay friends with that person & not go any further or get intimate with them, or want or beg for "sex" or become "friends with benefits" just so you could lose your virginity, but rather enjoy each others company from time to time over a social hangout with friends & so fourth, for the fun of it. This is considered "friendship" & nothing more.
However, let's go back to the "One on One" conversation: if you're someone who is satisfied after all the questions you've asked of your partner & all the answers you've received from them, then you'll know what your heart wants. If the relationship continues at this point, of course you're going to get asked important questions as well, as your other partner would like to know more about your personality as well & who you are. Remember, the number one rule in relationship dating is to be honest. Be upfront with yourself when you're asked questions. Don't lie to yourself to make yourself look good. You're always better off staying positive & staying true to yourself, rather then being someone you're not. When you're being asked questions, answer all the questions you're asked in the best, honest, but most upfront way. If your other partner is satisfied with your answers & has identified your personality & will accept you for you are as a person, then you'll both know that it's meant to be, allowing for a relationship to start & build itself as time goes on. However, If your other partner is not satisfied after all the answers you've gave to your partner, or is not "feeling" your personality, or becomes a little, "iffy" about this whole situation, then there is nothing to hesitate or be scared about. Why? Because god never promised you a perfect relationship, because perfect is impossible in life. Of course we are all different & have different personality's that make each & everyone of us unique, but that doesn't make you any "different" from everyone else. Always remember, there is always someone out there for everyone, so if you feel upset about the situation, or what the outcome of your partners response was, then don't let it get to you, you'll be fine. Again, if your partner isn't satisfied or feels uncomfortable with your personality type or your answers, then friendship is always an option, so please consider that if all else fails.
On the other hand, for all the young teenagers who are not ready for a relationship yet just remember that your relationship with God is more important than anything because you know for sure that's a relationship that will last forever. For all the young teenagers who don't want a relationship just yet, my advice is to live life normally with friends & family, or whoever you spend your life with, or whatever school or college you go to, or plan on going to, or what you plan on doing in the future, or where ever you work at currently, just have your mind set & live your life day by day & wait for that right person to show up in your life. When the time comes, you will know for sure, & as always, make sure you have God beside you at all times...
You know what they say,
"Good things happen to those who wait."
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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