Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
My message to young teenagers, Men & Woman who need help finding success:
First of all, before I begin, the most important issue that I see in today's society is: How do YOU define success? Until you & ONLY you answer that question, you can not begin your real quest for success.
However, In all reality, not many young teenagers, Men & Woman know what makes a "successful" life to "them" because we were all born into a world without a clear purpose, & especially in the world of today since there is confusion all around us leading us to pursue lives that don't truly mean success for them, which goes back to why there's a issue in today's society.
Now, before I start talking about "success," understand that success is a concept that should only be personal. Nobody has the right to determine what success should be for you in a direct manner. However, I can only voice my opinions about "success" in general & hope that I can educate you on what success generally is, as well as how success can be subjective as well.
With that being said, let's get into it.
First off, you would think that the word "success" sounds easy but it is not as easy as it sounds. Why? Well because most of us are not honest with ourselves about what we really want out of life. We don't know ourselves well enough to figure it out or what we want, or what we think looks good to want or what we think we should want & etc. It's a big confusion for most young teenagers, Men & Woman who live today. Why is that? Well, when you live a world that is dominated by the media, by the power, by the money, then you tend to believe that you have to achieve what other people have achieved in order to be successful, which is absolutely wrong. It's immoral for society to believe in such a thing. In terms of money for example, one could say that you could only be successful if you get rich, but then, how much money do you REALLY have to have to be successful? One million? Two million? One thousand millions? Who is more successful? Donald Trump or Bill Gates? How can we tell who's more successful & has more money? Think about it. Another example, If Lil Wayne says that having money, driving nice cars & scoring "chicks" has made him happy, then a large percentage of young adults will pursue the same things just for the simple fact that money, cars & chicks is what made him, & ONLY him happy. That's wrong & immoral. So my point is, whatever makes YOU happy is what success to YOU really is, not, whatever makes OTHERS "happy," Do you understand? It's one thing if you become inspired by someone or something, & you wish to proceed in the same footsteps as them & you are truly happy about the decision you've made. However, it's another thing when you try to intentionally copy or imitate someone or something just because you see them as successful & happy, & you aren't. That's wrong. Wrong, wrong wrong. Find your own happiness first & your success will follow through.
The bottom line is that once you figure out your own personal meaning of success & have a clear understanding of what your passion is for something & once you figure out what is the most important to you, you will then see that your happiness comes from your heart & not from what others have accomplished in their own lives. You will start to see that your own dreams are within arm's length. The fact of the matter is, you can achieve anything & everything once you are sure of what you want to do, & the most vital part of being sure is to have confidence in yourself & what you plan to do to be successful, & NOT base your own success off of what you see has made others happy. Now, be prepared to realize that your own success may not be a success from the perspective of others, but why would you care about what others think? This is your life, not there's. They are in their own little heads, & you are in your own. Even if making money, having fancy cars, a big house or having a ton of "chicks" by your side (like Lil Wayne) makes you truly happy, then shoot for it. I'm not stopping you, I'm not saying you're wrong of your beliefs. However, the only thing I will say is that you obviously want to live in comfort, meet your "lover," have a good education, drive a car, have a house & etc, I understand that, but understand that money itself is not required for any of these things, in my honest opinion. I say this because money doesn't buy happiness, so therefore, how can you be successful without being happy? Understand that success is not measured in money. Success is measured in how you do in life. That's a true reality that I promise you will face at some point in your life whether you talk money or not.
Now, ask yourself these questions:
Did you make a difference by being here?
Did you make a difference in someones life?
Did you accomplish most of the goals you tried to do & some of the goals you never thought about?
Do you lead others by example?
Do you consider yourself a leader?
Are you happy with yourself?
Are you proud of who you are?
Are you living in the moment?
These are some of the questions you have to answer truthfully to yourself.
With that being said, keep in mind that while you're answering these questions to yourself, that your own success may be subjective at the same time as well. As I've previously stated above, whatever you may consider successful to you, others might consider a failure. For instance, If your goal is to be happy, then living in a lower class home, with an old car & a average job pay may be successful for those because those people are comfortable & can manage to live that way. At the same time, however, other people could see that as being unsuccessful in their eyes. Even if these people who manage to live their life off of paycheck are to be successful each & every time, there will always be those who will say something rude or negative about their living standards. However, their happiness was the goal in this situation, not theirs. That's what makes them successful, because they had a goal of living off of pay check to pay check & they achieved that goal, now they're happy & will continue to achieve more goals as well. Do you understand the scenario? If not, you need to understand that there is no absolute success at all. Success is always relative, what is success for you may not be success for other people, & the other way around too. Unfortunately, the media, traditions & your own culture may put tremendous pressure & make other people believe that success is absolute & that it is defined from monetary or professional points of view only. That is wrong. Again, success is a relative concept, not absolute.
You also need to understand that success is a continuous process & should never end. Once you have achieved certain goals you generally set new ones to achieve, based off of your situation in life. For example, If your a young guy or girl, & one of your goals is to have a family of your own, then perhaps when you have a family you will set as a new goal to up bring your children correctly & to have them complete an education, or maybe a drivers license & so fourth. So what I'm trying to say is that success is more like a state of being as well, not just a final target. Like I said, you don't wave a "magic wand" & arrive at success or become successful in a instant. In fact, if you were to try, you will never get there. Why? Because the bar will keep moving as you go through life & that's a true reality. As intimidating as that may sound, keep in mind that you live your life as being successful, every moment of every day that you're alive & breathing. What most young teenagers, Men & Woman don't understand is that the real truth to being successful is to not only work at your goals, but to live in the current moment & be the best you can be each & everyday. Do what you can do to make the world a better place & move on. As long as you do these things, you will already have a reason to be motivated & successful.
Now, you're probably asking me,
"What's a successful life to you mean?"
Well, If you ask me, a successful life in my opinion is not about the money, nor is it about having a good education, or a fancy car, a big house, a ton of chicks & etc. Quite frankly, I could care less about all of that. A Successful life to me is when I'm mainly fulfilling my goals, & my own personal goals. I don't let anyone trick me into thinking that I have to drive a BMW, own two houses & a business to be successful. Money doesn't buy happiness to me. I'm perfectly happy with what I have, who I am & who I'm with. Success to me is about how I feel about each & every one of my accomplishments, not how others see me or think of me. I set new goals for myself & do my best to meet those goals. I was taught growing up, no matter what my profession or situation in life may be, to be the best person I can possibly be. It's called making the best of what you have & always moving forward with a goal in mind in those areas you would like to be successful in. It means following through with your aspirations & dreams, even if I don't get to the "top," I've worked hard to succeed. I am glad things went the way they did & I look at all the things that went bad as stages to get to where I am now. I don't regret anything because I can't change what happened in the past & I look toward the future with my head held high & a bright smile on my face. I'm doing what I love & I'm doing my best at it even if I fail sometimes. The meaning of success lies in the courage of overcoming my fears, failure & continuing to do my work without being disheartened. As long as I have someone to support me behind my journey, like a family member, neighbor, or best friend, then my life has been well lived & successful.
Down below, I will list some of my tips & advice I have to share about how to become successful. I am by no means saying that these things are what will make YOU successful, because we each have our own understanding of what success is.
However, here's my tips & advice for those who need it:
1. The first step to success is to define your goal (what you truly want in life). Once you know what exactly you want, you can devise a plan to get what you want. Once you devise a plan, you must be determined to work hard & put 100% effort into. You must also discipline yourself to follow your plan. In other words, you can't slack off or think "success" will come to you, because it will never happen. Disciplining yourself means keeping your main focus on your goal, even if you have to suffer sometimes, you don't give up at it, you keep going. It all sounds easy but it is not as easy as it sounds. Why? Well because most of us are not honest with ourselves about what we really want. We don't know ourselves well enough to figure it out or we want what we think looks good to want or what we think we should want.
2. If there is anything you want to change to be successful first, it's that attitude of yours. First off, success & happiness, it's not delivered to you on a silver platter, it's a journey & takes a lot of effort. I can tell you now, the people that are happiest are those that put their heart & soul into what they love, & this is the epitome of success. Now, people that say they have "success" from the get go, who do nothing for what they own, it appears to be "the life" to them, but seriously, it's a bunch of lies. Ever heard of the expression, "the grass is always greener on the other side?" Well, it's the truth in the real world. The truth of the matter is that perseverance is what leads to to grass being greener on the other side. As long as you don't give up on what it is you want then you are potentially capable of seeing that bright grass on the other side.
3. Start to plan ahead for the future - Take elementary, middle school & high school very seriously, study hard & get the best grades you can get. The better off you are in school, the better off you are when you leave high school. Whether you go to college afterwards or not, you will still be better off leaving high school knowing that you had good grades. Also, remember as well, life isn't a party. Don't listen to those who "drink," "smoke," get "high" on a daily basic's, or have no regards to taking their life in a serious manner, because anyone who is miserable & never take any chances to make their lives better, barely makes a living doing a job that they hate & never accomplish anything, which makes them a very unsuccessful person in my opinion.
4. Take everything you do into consideration - Eat healthy, get lots of exercise, get enough sleep. & etc. You would think that these things would not make a difference, but taking these things into consideration & doing each & every one of these activities on a daily basics will help boost your confidence & self esteem when striving to be successful. In addition, it will also help your brain function more properly, which will make your mind more sharp & focused towards working on a certain goal that you may have in mind. This is all part of the process in achieving success.
5. Do things that help others - Sometimes the best way towards being successful is to be happy with yourself while seeing other people happy & knowing that they're happy because of something YOU did for them. Whether it's giving someone advice, holding a door for a lady, doing favors for someone, holding a fundraiser or even donating things to help your community out, or those who are out of state. These things will make you feel like a successful person inside & out.
6. Start loving yourself & your work - Loving yourself is important because if you don't love yourself, you can't love others & you'll never have the confidence to grow in this world & be successful at whatever it is you want to be successful at. Loving your work is important because success is driven by passion. Unless & until you are very passionate about something & crave for it, you will not be able to put your 100% in accomplishing it, especially if you can't love yourself. In addition, If you do love yourself, then you will be able to follow your own path to success & not worry about what other people are striving to be successful in. Again, this is YOUR life, not theirs.
7. Be creative - Creativity helps your brain & can make you a more happier & more successful person then you ever thought. For example, you can draw, paint, write stories, write a book, create something, whatever you want to do to get your mind thinking towards a certain goal you may have.
8. Be with people - get a job, do activities, be social, hang out with friends or family relatives. This is important to becoming successful because success in life can also be reached through your necessary interactions with hopefully good others in your world.
9. Forget about the bad things in your past - if they're still affecting you, change them & make it better. Remember that the past is the past & there's no reason to live in it. Forgive yourself of the things you may of done or regret in the past & start to accept yourself for all that you are starting today. I can't stress this enough, but you must live in the present & live your life each & every moment you get because there's people out there who are on their last breath as you're reading this, so free your heart from dwelling & open yourself up. What I'm trying to say is that instead of putting yourself down or dwelling about the past, try to motivate yourself to be the greatest person you can be today & from this point on in your life. Doing this necessary step will open up a lot more doors for you in your life & will make it much easier on you when striving for success.
10. Ultimately, live a satisfying life - It is a life where you are healthy, happy & fulfilled in your existence. Most people say they would like to lead such a life, but many think it is not easy to do. In fact, it is not that difficult. Much of what happens to you in your life is a result of your philosophy or way of thinking & the principles you follow, as well as your attitude toward things, which goes back to my tip #2 above.
In conclusion, I hope my blog on "success" has helped a lot of young teenagers, Men & Woman out there who struggle to define what the word "success" means, but hopefully have somewhat of a understanding.
If by any chance, you need more of my tips or advice about "success" in general, please don't hesitate to get in contact with me.
Much love & appreciation...
Written & published by: Kevin Beard Jr.
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